It's just that kind of day..

So Brian is the vice-president of my club..which now has 9 members by the way which means once we get back to North Bay..I'll actually be able to start it in March once I submit all the paper work to NUSU! :) (I need 10 members to start it, I'm sure I'll get one more haha!)

For those of you who missed out on the info: I'm starting a poetry club at Nipissing. We're going to have it for poetry writers to read their work and those who like reading poetry to bring in their favourites. I'm really excited!

Anyway, Brian took a lot of interest in the club as I knew he would since he has found a new-found love for writing poetry. But he ended up being the vice-president, well he asked and I said okay. But he's been super supportive of EVERYTHING. Like he didn't let me just talk about forming this club and then leave it at that. He told me he'd join and then he made sure I went through with it. He pushed me in a good way to get things going. And he helped read over the constituition I had to make. But mostly, he made a facebook group and helped spread the word and get people to join. I also was getting a little ticked off because people were joining the facebook group (which is awesome to get the interest) but I was not sure if they were actually members or not so I wrote a message asking them to please let Brian or me know since we were trying to make an official membership list. And he sent me a message back telling me not to worry because we'll get more members once school starts again. I don't know, he's just been super duper nice and super duper supportive..

Um so yeah. About the whole him ignoring me twice at the Powers..we didn't really "make up" because I never really talked to him about how I felt about it and although I still believe it was wrong to treat me like that, I forgive him in a sense. I don't know, maybe he's just really close to the Powers and enjoys the time he spends with them. I'm not going to make excuses for the kid, it still wasn't right, and even though he doesn't know it was wrong, it feels like he's been making up for it times a trillion. I mean I know that's not why he's been like this. He's just a nice guy normally..so I'm not sure what the ignoring situation is all about. But I basically just, am not going to hold a grudge about it. It's best to just move on.

I don't know. We've been good. I helped him choose courses and he helped me with this club thing. And honestly, I know I could have done everything on my own but I also just thank him with everything I have. I was going to start the club no matter what but it was extremely helpful to have someone there wanting me to start it too. And I honestly don't think I would have been able to get as many members as he has been, and so soon. I was just going to worry about the NUSU papers (constituition and things like that) this week and members later but it's extremely nice and helpful knowing I actually have enough interest in this. I'm going to be able to start something I wanted to and I honestly don't think it would have worked out this well without him.

But I did do a whole heck of a lot on my own. It's not that I'm not giving myself credit. I went to NUSU and did all the paper work (except for the budget which I'm hoping to avoid if NUSU doesn't give us funding). And I made the poster and gave it to my English prof Kat Lee. I e-mailed Sean (VP Internal who sets up clubs) but he didn't answer so I'll just call or go to his office on Monday. I talked to Neely (sp?) at EHS who's in Nipissing and doing her placement with Emmerton and she's going to help a ton (though she hasn't e-mailed me yet and she needs to do that first?). I have meetings planned out, ideas in my head, I'm ready to run this thing! I'm excited!

In other words, I give myself credit where credit is due but Brian also deserves about half of that, and that right there, almost makes me forgive him. It makes me afraid because I know I still want to go to the Powers on Wednesdays and that he'll probably still ignore me, but maybe I just don't fit in that part of his life right now or ever.

So yeah, I don't know, I'm probably falling again? But I don't really think so. I'm not sure. I'm just extremely thankful. Maybe I like the idea of him but I'm not really sure if I like him. Maybe despite all he's doing for me, I still am weary of jumping in..Maybe I still have the mind frame as before that we're not going to work, I don't know why, I just think we're..something I don't have a word for..something that won't work?